Crossing Fine Lines
by HHr4life
Summary: "We're getting married". The words should have filled Harry Potter with joy not dread. After three years he should have be OK with seeing his best friends together. A misunderstanding between Harry and Hermione during the war set them on the path they were today. After realizing that both would have to choose how to deal with the consequences and what they are willing to sacrifice.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All things Harry Potter related not mine. No infringement intended.**

 **A/N: It's been a long time since I've posted anything at all but I thought I would give it a try once again. I missed writing about my favorite couple. Once again this story is focused primarily on Harry and Hermione relationship and the complexities of the Trio, therefore Ron plays a major role. It wouldn't be the Trio and my story wouldn't work without him. For those of you who have read my fics before, there will lots of angst and Ron and Hermione will have a relationship in this but I will try my very best to keep their relationship at a minimum. I would like to explore the concept of this one to the end if permitted by readers. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy reading the first chapter.**

 **Chapter 1**

Harry Potter brushed the snow off his hair and stomped his feet to do the same off his boots. It was freezing cold outside the back door of the Burrow and the puffs of air before him every time he exhaled indicated that. Not that it matter. The warming charm he cast upon himself kept him nice and toasty. He knew he loved magic for a reason Harry mused to himself.

As he stood trying to get as much of the snow out of his boots Harry could hear muffled voices emanating from the room just beyond the door. It appeared rowdy which meant that majority, if not all the Weasleys were present. A huge smile stretched across his face at the thought of seeing all of them. He couldn't remember the last time he last time he saw Bill or Charlie under happy circumstances. Fred's burial was probably the last and that was three years ago.

After a few stomping Harry finally gave up and entered the room. As he suspected most of the Weasleys were present and Mrs. Weasley was standing by the stove while the others help set the table. The smell of her casserole filled the air making his stomach grumbled and his mouth water. The last thing he had to eat today was a turkey sandwich for lunch and he was starving. His stomach must have grumbled louder than he thought for Mrs. Weasley saw him the moment it did.

"Harry!" she greeted happily moving towards him and pulling him into a tight hug. It was almost suffocating but he didn't mind. "I was wondering when you were going to get here. Everyone else already is".

"Sorry Mrs. Weasley", Harry apologized as she pinched his cheeks, "I got held up at work but you know I wouldn't miss your cooking for anything".

"Flattery will get you out of anything my boy", she joked pulling at his cheeks once again. Harry smiled in returned before she went back to cooking.

Harry moved further into the room and pressed a kiss of hello onto Fleur's cheek and the same to her daughter in her arms. Victoire Weasley was going to be a heartbreaker when she grew up. "She's beautiful Fleur just like her mama", he said to the blonde who smiled widely.

"Hey Gin", he greeted the youngest of the family with a kiss as well. Ginny being a hugger pulled him into a hug, "good to see you".

"You too", she replied patting his flat stomach, "being an Auror working out for you huh", she teased. It was a miracle they were able to salvage a friendship after they broke up. She had been angry at him for a long time but eventually she came around, realizing that he had been right.

"Something like that", he replied with a wink causing her to laugh. He released her as Bill, Charlie, George and Mr. Weasley walked into the room. He greeted all with handshakes and hugs. Pleasantries were exchanged before they moved to be settled at the table.

Mrs. Weasley was already moving the food from the oven and the stove to the table. Magic being her assistance, no one needed to help with anything. While almost everyone was present Percy was still missing and a part of him knew he would show up. While he made up with his family during the war, his visits was few and in between. Ron and Hermione were also missing.

With furrowed brows he glanced around the room but neither of them was there. Maybe there were just running late. As the others settled and Harry was also about to sit down the door opened once again and the missing person arrived. A wide smile stretched across his face as he saw Hermione entered with Ron slightly behind her. Her cheeks were red and her hair filled with flakes of snow. It also looked more frazzled than usual as if she had been running her fingers through it.

Ron was also red in the face, from embarrassment or cold Harry wasn't sure. He was acting sheepish and trying to not smile. Maybe it had been his fingers in Hermione's hair. A weird feeling settled at the pit of his stomach at the thought of them being intimate. You would think after three years he would get used to seeing them being a couple but he hadn't.

"Hey everyone", they greeted and everyone else chorused a reply. Ron took off his robe and hung his and Hermione's by the door before stepping into the room.

"Hiya Harry", Ron greeted happily as he pulled him into a hug. There was an air of complete happiness surrounding him and Hermione for a matter of fact that was unsettling. "It's great to see you".

"You too Ron", Harry replied smiling, "sorry I couldn't make it to the last game". Ron was now one of the official Chaser for the Canons his games took him away most of the time.

"Don't worry about", Ron assured him with a pat on the back, "nothing could damper my happiness tonight".

"Hey Harry", Hermione squeezed in before he could reply to Ron. She wrapped her arms around him and Harry found himself holding on longer that he usual did. Her familiar comforting scent washed over him, calming his frayed nerves. She always had that effect on him.

"Hey Hermione", he greeted. He was happy to see her and he couldn't hide it. As she pulled away from him, Harry caught sight of a tender bruise just under her collar. His brows furrowed and before she completely pulled away he realized it was a love bite.

The sensation at the pit of his stomach heightened as their eyes met. Hermione flushed under his scrutiny and her smile slowly drifted off her lips as he just continued to stare at her. Harry had no idea what they hell was happening to him. They were in a relationship; of course she would have love bites. The thought made him queasy. Now he remembered why he avoided them.

"Are you OK Harry?" she asked touching his arm. Harry blinked and painted a smile on his face.

"Of course why wouldn't I be", he replied touching her shoulders. He could tell she didn't believe him, "come on lets eat, I'm starving".

Harry made a motion with his hand for her to precede him but before he could Ron snagged her wrist pulling her beside him. They shared a significant look before turning to everyone. Harry's muscles tightened as he regarded them silently. He was positive that he wasn't going to like what Ron was going to say, he could feel it in his bones.

"I'm glad everyone's here", Ron announced wrapping his arms around Hermione's shoulder. As he spoke Harry discretely took a few steps back until he was slightly away from the crowd and to the back of the room. No one noticed. "Hermione and I had an announcement to make. We're getting married!"

Shouts of happiness and congratulations echoed loudly in the air as the Weasleys went ballistic. The shock of the words rendered him speechless and he felt as if the bottom of his stomach fell out. Ron's words echoed inside his head but for the life of him Harry couldn't quite grasp its meaning. They were getting married? He knew he should have expected it. He should have been prepared for it but he wasn't. If anything Harry could feel anger building inside him and he hated it. They couldn't be getting married.

Across the room he watched as hugs were exchanged and he knew he should get over there before someone noticed his behavior. His mind said that but his legs refused to budge. Over Ginny's shoulders he caught Hermione's eyes and her happy expression sobered as he saw him just standing there. Her brows furrowed in confusing and Harry knew he had to act fast.

Once again forcing a smile Harry made his way across the room towards the happy couple. All he had to do was congratulate them, have dinner and then go home and try to figure out why his world felt like it was falling apart instead of being happy for his best friends.

"Congrats guys", Harry wished as happily as he could. He leaned in and kissed Hermione, barely catching the edge of her lips. The contact sent a bolt of electricity down his spine and he ignored it before hugging Ron, "I'm so happy for you".

"Thanks mate", Ron replied jovially, "and you'll be my best man of course".

"Of course mate", Harry agreed, "of course I will be".

Everyone once again settled around the table and the air of excitement went with it. The news of the engagement added to everything it seemed. As he sat down beside Ginny and opposite Ron and Hermione, he could feel her brown eyes trained on him. As much as he liked, he hadn't done a good job of hiding his reaction. Harry looked up, meeting her gaze full on and offered a smile. She returned it and Harry couldn't help but notice it didn't quiet reach her eyes.

"Dig in everyone", Mrs. Weasley said happily and Harry could see the joy on her face as he looked towards Ron and Hermione. She was almost red in the face with it. Burying his unwanted feelings Harry tried his best to act normal hoping his acting skills were enough to fool everyone.

He walked in here hungry and anticipating Mrs. Weasley dinner but now everything lost its taste and his stomach seemed to be rejecting all food. Somehow he made it through dinner carrying on a conversation with Bill and Charlie. They were the ones he least saw. Ron filled them in on his practices. Hermione contributed to conversations but for the most part she was quiet. He had a feeling it was because of him.

This should be a happy time for her and he was ruining it because of his selfishness. Harry wasn't even sure where the resentment came from. Every time Ron touched her or kissed her, he gripped his fork a little tighter. He had seen them as a couple countless time and had never reacted like a bliggering idiot so why now?

 _She's going to be his wife, not just his girlfriend._ A voice whispered inside his head. _She'll be his forever and you're going to lose her for good._ Harry panicked inwardly at the words knowing they were the truth. Everything was going to change now. Things would be permanent the moment they got married and Ron was going to be her number one guy. He was afraid of things changing.

Harry slumped against the chair as the thoughts swirled around his head. Conversations carried on around them and he found himself staring at her across from him. She was laughing soundly with her hand across her chest and the light glinted off her ring. She looked so happy and content Harry's heart ached at the sight. She deserved to be happy. After everything she had sacrifice for him, no one deserved this more than her. He should be the last person standing in her way of that.

As if sensing his gaze Hermione turned and their eyes connected. For the first time that night he smiled genuinely at her. He was happy for her, for them Harry realized but that didn't stop the hollowness inside his chest at the thought of loosing her forever. Hermione's smile got brighter if that was possible and Harry raised his glass towards her before taking a sip. She didn't the same and somehow Harry made it through dinner. Whatever he was feeling at the moment had to be buried if he was going to survive this.

A long time ago, when they had been dancing in a tent on a cold winter's night his feelings for Hermione had surfaced. He had been confused and alarm at the intensity of it but when she turned away from him Harry had panicked and snagged her wrist before she had escaped completely. If he closed his eyes he could still feel the touch of her lips against his. It had been a weak moment they agreed after it happened and it was that night he vowed to bury his feelings for her.

It hadn't been the time or place. He couldn't have promised anything and there had been Ron to consider. It had been just a kiss but it was one that haunted his dreams. After the war had ended he had made peace with what happened. Ron and Hermione got together and for a brief time so did he and Ginny. He thought he was over it, that he was over her but the moment he realized what was going to happen tonight it all came rushing back.

It hadn't been just a kiss then and it wasn't just a kiss now. But there was nothing he could do about it. Hermione had never indicated she felt anything more than friendship for him so it had been easier to fall back into the routine of things. Now, now Harry couldn't stand the idea of them together. It was like the blindfolds had come off and the dam holding his feelings broke. He was true and totally screwed and he had to get it under control before he did something stupid.

"So how's work Harry", he vaguely heard Ron's question and snapped back to reality. Harry forced himself to focus on the present.

"It's going fine", he replied, "Chasing some leads but they all seem to be dead to me".

"Still regretting choosing that over Quidditch?" Ron asked jokingly making everyone laugh.

"On some days sure I am", Harry said. Before joining the program Harry had seriously considered trying out for Seeker but his need to rid the world of evil won, "How about you Hermione?"

"My shifts can be horrendous but it's worth it", she said honestly and he nodded.

"I can vouch for that I haven't seen you for days", Harry supplied taking a drink, "I wondered if you were avoiding me".

"I couldn't if I tried", she joked, "I have to be around to nag you about inconsequential things".

"Yea I guess so", Harry murmured and wondered if she still will after she got married. "I might as well enjoy it while it last because Ron is going to get all that nagging once you get married".

"Oh man that is going to drive him up the wall", Ginny said. Ron stricken expression at his words chorused a round of laughter. Everyone agreed whole heartily.

"One of the perks right Ron", Harry covered for him as Hermione shot him a glare.

"Absolutely Harry", he replied and proceeded to kiss Hermione on the lips. Harry good nature disappeared at the display and he looked away. The girls awed at his actions and the guys snickered loudly. Hermione was bright red after they separated.

He kept his mouth directed at other conversations as dinner progressed. It was long before it came to and end and Mrs. Weasley magically began clearing away the dishes. Harry would offer to help clean up manually but she would brush off his offer. Almost everyone moved towards the living room except the Trio. Ginny kissed his cheek goodbye as if knowing he was going to leave instead of joining them. Mrs. Weasley followed her.

"What a night?" Harry said once they were alone. His eyes skittered towards them. Ron's arm was still firmly across Hermione's shoulder. "I would have gotten a gift if I known it was going to be a special night".

"It came as a surprise to me too", Hermione filled in watching him closely, "so don't feel too bad".

"You can still get us one", Ron smirked and Hermione smacked his stomach, "Ow woman that hurt".

"It was meant to", Hermione defended her actions, "he's joking Harry".

"No I'm not", Ron butted in making Harry laugh.

"I just get an extra big wedding present to settle things then", Harry compromised which seem to appease Ron. He tugged at his collar and decided it was time to call it a night, "anyways I'm going to get going. I have an early morning and some case notes to go over".

"Alright mate", Ron said standing up and Harry breathed better as he moved away from Hermione, "We should have a drink before I head back out yea".

"Sure maybe during the week", Harry agreed. Ron clapped him on the back and Harry leaned over to kiss Hermione goodbye. Her scent once again bombarded him and he hastily pulled away. He wouldn't want to embarrass himself. He offered a smile. "See you guys".

Hurriedly he made his way out of the door and across the snowed garden. He could feel eyes burning into his back and as he turned around Harry found Hermione standing by the window looking intensely at him. She raised her hand in goodbye and he returned the gesture but for the life of him he couldn't return her sad smile. Hermione knew something was up. She knew him too dame much and he hated it at the moment.

 **Thanks for reading and feel free to drop a line about what thought about the first chapter :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Hermione raised her hand to knock on the door and hesitated. It was the first time she ever did that and it was weird given the fact it was Harry's door she was standing before. Hermione took a deep breath and lowered her hand. She had tossed and turned for most part of the night as they image of him just standing there in the garden, sad and alone bombarded her. Something was bothering him and it was killing her not knowing what it was.

Their relationship for the most part had been an amazing friendship. Hermione had stood by him through thick and thin and she praised herself for knowing him well enough to know when something was bothering him. It hurt that this time he hadn't come to her about it. Last night at dinner Harry had done a marvelous job of acting happy and normal but she knew it was an act. She could see the strain around his mouth and his smile never quite touched his green eyes.

They were best of friends, they shared almost everything and now she needed to know what was wrong. Ever since they war ended an air on unease always accompanied them when they were alone. It irked her to the bones but no matter what she did it always remained. Harry was the same Harry but he was more guarded ever since her relationship with Ron became official. An unbidden image of lips pressing urgently against hers flashed through her mind but Hermione banished it. She didn't like thinking about that night. It brought back too many feelings she tried so hard to bury.

As she stood there contemplating what to do, Hermione's thumb circled the ring on her finger. She was still getting use to the weight on her finger. She lifted her hand and examined it. She should be happy that they were engaged and a part of her was but as her eyes trailed the diamond ring, hollowness formed in her chest. This was what she wanted wasn't it? She knew at some point Ron was going to propose and she should be happier about this moment but for some reason Hermione couldn't bring herself to be and that scared her.

She had no doubt that Ron loved her and deep down she loved him too but it wasn't the kind that set her pulse racing. He had grown up since Hogwarts and they still fought. They fought about everything but eventually both would cool down and things would revert to normal. He was gone a lot which made it a bit easier Hermione relented and before she used to miss him so much. Now, sometimes she barely noticed he was gone. That should have been a sign that her feelings for him were wavering.

She said yes to his proposal because being with Ron was comfortable. She knew what to expect of their relationship and they had a routine. She did love him but not in the same measure as he did her and it was enough. For the most part she was happy and eventually that void she felt in her life would be filled. Or so she hoped. Hermione knew deep down that she held on because she didn't want to hurt him. He was part of the Trio and it was devastate him to lose her and she didn't want to fail.

Besides she really didn't think she could get who she wanted so why throw away a perfectly good relationship for a fantasy. Hermione sighed heavily and brushed the thoughts away. She didn't come here tonight to relieve her choices but to find out what was wrong with Harry. Last night at the Burrow was the first time she'd seen him in weeks not days and honestly she missed him. He never just dropped by her office anymore and she wasn't comfortable just apparating into his home. When did that happen?

Steeling herself for whatever was to come Hermione took a deep breath and knocked twice before waiting and doing it again. For a moment nothing but silence greeted her and then she heard shuffling on the other side. It took a few more moments but it wasn't before long that the green door swung open revealing Harry Potter bare chest and in a pair of faded blue jeans.

His hair was wet and ruffled as if he brushed his hands through it many time and his eyes sparkled brightly. Hermione swallowed nervously at the sight of him and tried to quench her suddenly parched throat. Being and Auror certainly agreed with him. There wasn't an ounce of fat anywhere. He was lean and his stomach was flat. The v of his abs directed a line that disappeared beneath his jeans. Hermione felt hot and flustered and forced herself to stop squawking at him.

"Hermione", he smiled in greeting and moved aside so she could enter, "what are you doing here? Not that I mind of course?"

"I wanted to drop by and see how you were", she murmured huskily hoping he didn't catch the edge of desire in her voice. As she skittered around him, Hermione made sure to avoid contact with his body. "We haven't really had a chance to get together, just us".

"Yea I know", he said before grabbing a Canon's shirt from the closet to his right and slipping it on. Hermione breathed easier now that temptation was hidden, "I guess work been kicking both our asses".

"Yea I guess so too", Hermione replied. Silence washed over the two as they just stood there staring at each other. Harry appeared casually but she could see the tense way he held himself away from her.

"I was just about to have dinner", Harry murmured tucking his hand in his jeans, "Mrs. Weasleys left over casserole. There's enough for two if you would like to join me".

Her stomach chose that moment to grumble and they both laughed easing the tension that seeped into the air, "I'll take that as a yes". Harry teased before side stepping her and leading the way to the kitchen.

Her eyes glanced around the flat Harry purchased after the war and she couldn't help but smile as many pictures of the Trio were scattered along the way. It wasn't that big but it was a spacious two bedroom flat painted in light blue. It seemed to suit him. Hermione slipped out of her coat and slid her bag off her shoulders before entering the kitchen.

Harry had already set the casserole on the table with their plates and two butterbeer by the time she entered. She took a seat opposite him and they silently began eating dinner. The air around them appeared comfortable enough but she couldn't help but feel uneasy.

"How was work?" he enquired taking a bite out his dinner. Hermione watched him swallowed his mouthful before washing his down with the sweet drink before answering.

"It was busy as usual", Hermione murmured, "it seemed like everyone was getting hurt one way or another today. I barely had time to eat lunch. You?"

"I finally caught the man I've been chasing this past week", Harry said with a sense of pride and then he wince, "not that he made it easy. He had be running through so many alleyways I was winded by the time I caught him".

"You sure don't look like it could affect you, your body is perfect", Hermione said without thinking and could have bitten the words back. She closed her eyes and grimaced at the words. So much for keeping things casual. Harry tensed at her words but slowly smiled easy her embarrassment.

"I think that's the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me", he joked. Humor sparkled in his green eyes protected but his glasses. "It's good to know I'm not out of shape".

"That you aren't", Hermione joined in with a wide grin. For the first time that night things felt almost normal between them. A heavy weight of uncertainly lifted off her shoulders and they chatted about everything. It was almost like old time.

"Ron has practice tonight right?" Harry asked as he moved their dirty dishes to the sink. Hermione got up and helped him and wordlessly he stared washing and he dried.

"Yea, he should be done in about an hour or so", Hermione replied taking the plate from his hand and drying it. They shared a small smile at how natural this appeared. Ron always hankered them about doing things the muggle way. "He's leaving in a few days for his next set of games".

"Yea I know", Harry nodded finishing up his task and handing her the plate. "I'm supposed to meet him during the week but given my late hours I'm not sure I'll be able to".

"I'm sure he'll understand", Hermione said moving to leaned against the table directly opposite him, "it's not like he'll be gone forever".

"Yea that's true", Harry chuckled. Her heart warmed at the sound and the sight of him looking stress free. His smile always did crazy thing to her heart.

"I've miss this", she whispered longingly and his smile lost a bit of its brilliance but it was still there, "I've missed you".

"I've miss you too Hermione", he said with such emotions it gripped her heart. "It's funny how things change. We've spent almost every waking moment together before and I couldn't even imagine my life without seeing you or Ron every day and now we have no Voldemort to worry about and I go days without seeing you guys".

"Life gets in the way I guess", Hermione offered as she gazed at him. He had this air of loneliness around him she wanted to remove but didn't know how. No matter how much she tried, these days there was always a part of him she couldn't touch. "Things change".

"It's going to change even more when you guys get married", Harry filled in with a small sad tilt of his lips. It was that moment it hit her. He was afraid of things changing between the three of them, between the two of them and Harry wasn't sure how to deal with it. Hermione could have hexed herself for not noticing it before.

"We'll still be the Trio Harry", she murmured softly catching his eyes. The green depths burned with denial and she closed the distance between them and placed her hand hands against his chest. "Ron and I will still be here for you, we'll always be your friends. Voldemort couldn't take that away and nothing else could. You won't lose either of us; you won't lose me just because I'm marrying him".

"Then why does it feel like I already have Hermione", he whispered so softly Hermione barely heard him. His eyes were conflicted with pain and something, an intensity she couldn't read. "Ron and I are fine but you, you I felt I lost the moment the war ended. Something changed between us and for the life of me I don't know how to fix it".

Something did change between them but neither was willing to face that moment. They both filtered that to the back of their mind, hoping it wouldn't screw things up but it did anyway. Hermione swallowed hard at his words knowing he was right. All this time she felt it was only her but he felt it too. They never really talked about that moment other than it was a mistake. As their eyes locked the moment became tangible.

 _The song faded into the background as Harry's arm rested on her slender waist. Their eyes met and something flashed between them. The humor that had been in his eyes and the smile curling his lips faded as he stared at her with an intensity that rendered her speechless. Hermione could feel the panic building in her chest as his hand tightened around her waist and her heart felt as if it would explode if she didn't move away. And she did. Out of panic for what she might do if Harry kept looking at like than Hermione moved away and turned her back to him. Think about Ron; you fancy Ron remember._

 _She didn't get very far. Before Hermione could take another step Harry fingers circled her wrist holding her captive. The touch sent sparks up her arms and she could barely breathe. Harry slowly stood in front her and her eyes were drawn to his. They were dark with desire and she couldn't pull away if her life depended on it._

 _When his lips met hers, her eyes closed and fireworks exploded behind her lips. He didn't move closer, their body wasn't pressed together. The only contact was his lips on hers and his fingers on her wrist but it was enough to set her body on fire. Everything disappeared around them as Hermione gave into the moment she had wanted with a hungry that scared her. His lips were soft, chapped and urgent against hers and Hermione knew she would never experience anything like it again._

"I'm sorry", Harry apologize and pulled away from her. Her hands slid down his torso as he moved and the sharp sound he made didn't escape her, "I didn't mean for that to happen". Her brows burrowed in confusion before she realized he sent her the memory and it blended with hers.

"Harry", she began nervously. She could feel him pulling away from her. His hands were shaking and he shakily ran them through his hair.

"I thought I was over it", he said harshly as if scolding himself more than her, "I thought I had it under control. I mean it's been three years and I should be ok by now but the moment I realized Ron proposed to you it all came rushing back. It was the dam holding my feeling at bay was completely demolished and everything came flooding back. I never meant for my feelings to resurface but I can't stop thinking about that moment and you and Merlin I'm sorry Hermione".

"Is that why you been pulling away from me?" she asked quietly as the pieces fit together, "and last night?"

"On an unconsciousness yes", he said honestly resting his hand on his hips. His green eyes were filled with pain and confusion and hurt, "I wasn't sure what it was but now I do. I thought if I stayed away it would go away. Last night just brought it all back, but you don't have to worry about it Hermione. I'm not going to act on it or tell Ron. I won't be that friend to ruin his happiness and shag his girlfriend no matter how much I want it. I won't".

He spoke with such conviction Hermione's words died on her lips. He had feelings for her. He was attracted to her, he wanted her but he didn't want to want her. A shot of pain filled her heart at the thought. No matter what he felt Harry wasn't going to act on it so it would be useless to tell she felt the same way. He would never hurt Ron like that; she didn't want to hurt Ron like that. Whatever joy she felt hearing Harry say he felt what she felt all along died at the vehement vow to bury his feelings. That hurt more than anything but she understood him. Ron wasn't just a friend; he was like a brother to Harry. The Weasleys were his family and he wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize that. Even if that meant letting what he felt for her go.

"I understand Harry", Hermione was glad her voice came out normal and not jerky and filled with pain. She licked her dried lips and his eyes darkened as they followed the movement. She didn't mean for it to happen but the barely hidden desire in his eyes kindled her own. She needed to get out of there before she did something stupid.

Harry made it pointedly clear that he didn't want to want her and there was nothing she could do about it. They all made their choices. She had Ron's ring on her finger and as much as she wished things could be different she cemented her faith the moment she said yes. Knowing Harry had feelings for her couldn't change anything at this point.

"I never meant for things to get complicated", she said softly hating that she was hurting him anyways, "I'm sorry".

"It's my fault Hermione not yours", he said with so much self loathe she wanted to reach out and touch him. But she didn't dare. "I was the one who kissed you. This is all on me".

"I didn't push you away now did I?" she said reasonable. She could feel a sliver of anger in her words. He wasn't the only one in that kiss, "it took two of to tango".

"Yea but you never would have kissed me if I had just let you go that night Hermione and we both know it", he said in matter of fact tone of voice, "I'm the one who made it weird, I'm the one who developed the feelings so it's my problem to deal with".

"And how are you going to do that?" she asked tersely. Why couldn't he just accept that she had a part in it too, "are you going to stay away from us, from me? Is that going to change anything?"

"I don't have much of a choice Hermione", he exclaimed making her jump, "if that is what it takes then that is what I'm going to have to do. I can't be in the same room with you for long without wanting to snog you senseless. Right now all I want to do it take you in my arms and shag you on that very counter!"

He was breathing heavily and Hermione realized so was she. The image he painted was a clear as day in her mind and her body quickened at the thought. She wanted him to, Merlin help her Hermione wanted him to take her that way.

"You need to leave", he said hoarsely staring intently at her. His gaze was so powerful Hermione felt as if he touched her. She swallowed knowing he was right but she couldn't bring herself to move. "I don't have a lot of self-control left Hermione and I don't want to ruin what's left of our friendship or betray Ron, please", he implored, "please go".

Not wanting to cause him any more pain Hermione nodded jerkily and slowly backed away from him. She felt as if her heart was being torn from her chest. She came here tonight hoping to mend whatever was broken in their friendship but all she did was created a greater void. Things were never going to be normal again.

Now she knew her feelings for him were returned. Now she knew that some other time they may have had a chance. Now Hermione knew that Harry wanted her but he had no intention of following through because he loved Ron more to risk losing his friendship and his family.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Even though he was tired and wanted a long hot shower at the moment, Harry forced himself to walk into Hog's Head. Ron would already be there waiting for him. His day had been a long and tiring one but after Ron dropped by and confirmed that they were still on for tonight, he couldn't refuse. He brushed the snow off his hair and stepped into the warmth in the bar.

Winter was still takings its toll on the village but no one seemed to mind. The bar was crowded with many after work people just looking to relax and unwind. Harry wasn't one of those but he really couldn't say no to Ron. He had already cancelled two times and a third would only make his mate suspicious. After the disastrous night in his kitchen with Hermione three nights ago, Harry had been kicking himself senseless. What had possessed him to bare his feeling to her Harry had no idea.

The moment she left that night he wished he could go back and erase every single moment. Like things weren't weird enough between them already. The moment he opened his door and saw her there Harry knew he was screwed. All the emotions he had tried to stifle bubbled to the surface and it didn't help that his dreams had been erotically filled with her the night before.

Harry had resolved to try and act normal. He had been able to keep his feelings at bay for three years so he could do it again. What a fool he had been to think so. The moment she touched him, the moment their eyes clashed all had been shot to hell. The truth never did stay bury for long. It always had a way of seeping past the barriers holding it down. That night in his kitchen had been his. He hoped to Merlin the next time he saw her he wouldn't embarrass himself.

Ron was like a brother to him. The Weasley opened their home and their family to him. The last thing he wanted to do was betray Ron. No matter how strong his feelings were for Hermione, he couldn't afford to lose the only family he had. Ron would never forgive him. Harry would never forgive himself and he knew neither would Hermione. For a brief moment that night Harry could have worn he saw a flash of desire in her eyes. But that was insane. There was no way she could feel the same about it. She would have said something sooner wouldn't she?

Brushing away his errand thoughts Harry finally spotted Ron at the end of the bar. He had already started without Harry and from the looks of the bottle edging the half way part, he was ahead. The red head didn't even seem buzzed. Harry shook his head in amusement. He never did understand how Ron could hold his liquor so well.

"Hey mate, sorry I'm late", Harry said as he saddled next to him. Ron startled slightly at his abrupt greeting but smiled widely as he looked at Harry.

"No worries I had enough to keep me company", Ron smirked in replied as he motioned to the bottle. Harry laughed taking the glass Ron offered.

"I can see that", he said raising his glass to Ron and they both drank. "Congratulations mate".

"Thank you – again", Ron muttered finishing his drink in one gulp. He didn't even flinch at the burn. "I still can't believe it. I feel like the luckiest bloke in the world".

"And you should", Harry said with some difficulty, "it's Hermione. Any man would feel like the luckiest bloke in the world".

"Yea they would but I'm happy to say it's me", Ron couldn't stop the boastfulness from seeping into his voice. Harry inwardly cringed. He had a right to be happy but he didn't need to rub it in. He had no idea how lucky he was.

"Have you guys set a date yet?" Harry asked casually. He hadn't seen Hermione or intent to see Hermione for some time so Ron was his best bet to catch up on the wedding.

"We're thinking Spring", Ron filled in. Harry nodded and stared into the amber liquid he should be drinking, "my game schedule would be a bit lighter then so it all works out".

"That's great", Harry mustered up a smile and took a huge gulp of his drink. He grimace as it burned its way down his throat.

"Listen Harry", Ron said seriously half turning towards him, "We're best mates. Actually we're like family and I know things have been different since Hogwarts given our jobs but I don't want you to think things are going to change".

"What do you mean?" Harry asked with furrowed brows, wondering if Hermione said anything to him. This conversation fell very similar to the one they had in his kitchen. A sliver of guilt shot through him,

"If the situation was reverse", Ron explained, "and you were marrying Hermione I think I would feel a bit left out you know. Like I wouldn't have a place in the Trio anymore. Kind of like how I felt during Horcrux hunting but that's beside the point. I just want you to know that we won't shut you out just because we're married ok. We'll always be best friends. Now, one side will be married that's all".

"Thanks mate", Harry murmured not really sure what he should say. A part of him was positive no matter how much they all tried change was inevitable but he was grateful that Ron thought it was something that was bothering him. "I'm sure we'll all be fine".

"Great I just wanted to reassure you", Ron grinned widely as if finally doing his deed. Harry assumed that was why he really wanted to catch up, "We've been through a lot these years and you're not just my mate Harry, you're like a brother to me and I wouldn't have wanted you to think I would neglect that relationship".

"I don't Ron", Harry managed without thinking how his feelings for his fiancée would change all of that, "and I appreciate it. You don't know how much".

Ron poured him another drink and they spend the next hour just catching up. Ron was leaving in the morning for his next rounds of game and would be gone for two weeks. All through the night Harry kept the smile on his face and matched Ron shot for shot. He knew he was going to feel it more in morning but for some reason he indulged in this moment. An uneasy feeling spread throughout his body that made him believe this was going to be last comfortable moment he and Ron spent together.

Eventually Harry called a cutoff point and Ron was little more than buzzed and on his way to being pissed if he didn't stop. While he could hold his liquor Harry wasn't sure he should keep drinking. He placed a few coins to cover their drinks and he helped Ron out the bar. He was totally drunk but he stumbled one to many times. Harry wasn't quite sure he could make it home without splicing himself but he wasn't in the mood to see Hermione either.

"I need to ask you a favor mate", Ron muttered bracing against Harry's shoulder.

"Name it", Harry agreed without thinking.

"Hermione's been a little too focused these past few days", Ron began and Harry stiffened. He really hoped Ron wasn't going to suggest what he thought he was, "you know how she can work herself to the bone. Can you keep an eye on her while I'm gone just to make sure she doesn't overdo it".

"No one can really stop her from doing that Ron and we both know it", Harry murmured weakly. He really didn't need to spend extra time with her, "she can take care of herself".

"I know she can. That's one of the reasons I love her", Ron said dazedly as he stared directly at Harry. He wasn't as drunk as Harry though because his blue eyes were clear, "I would feel better knowing you were there for her just in case".

"Alright Ron I promise", Harry gave in. What else could he say? "I'll watch out for her and beat off any man who tries to approach her as well".

His words made the red head chuckle and he moved his unsettling gaze from Harry's. It was what he intended his words to do.

"Thank mate", Ron said gratefully, "you're the only one I trust with her". Let's hope you don't regret that Harry mused to himself.

"Think you can get home ok or would you like me to side along?" Harry asked as casually as possible. Ron saved him from the task but brushing off his offer.

"I'll be fine", he reassured, "I'm not that pissed. I'll see you when I get back ok".

Harry released his hold on his arm and Ron straightened to his full height. With a wave of his hand he disapparated with a loud _POP!_ leaving Harry standing alone on the streets of Hogsmeade. He lifted his gaze to the sky watching as the flakes as they fell slowly and gradually thinking Ron and well and truly screwed him by making him promised to watch over Hermione. Story of his life.

* * *

 _Harry had no idea what came over him as he held onto her slender wrist. The dance started as something to cheer her up. She had looked so lonely and miserable sitting there that his heart literally ached for her. All he wanted to do what make her smile, bring some light back into her eyes. He hated that his destiny was ruining her life. Harry knew she felt that frisson of emotion as their eyes connected. He saw the panic he felt reflected in her eyes and he the moment she turned away he knew he had to stop her._

 _His thumb smoothed circles over the racing pulse just inside her wrist. Her throat worked nervously as she swallowed and refused to look at him. Harry silently took a deep breath and moved around her stilled body all the while just holding onto her wrist. He didn't want to move hastily for fear of scaring her off again. It was as if an outside force had taken over._

 _Their eyes met and he paused in front of her. Brown clashed violently with green and the air sparked with tension. He had to taste her. If this was the only opportunity he got to taste those lips that had haunted his dreams longer that he was willing to admit Harry was going to seize the moment. When opportunity knocks, one should answer._

 _Slowly he leaned in, closing the distance between their lips inch by inch. His eyes never left hers and Harry hardly breathed as his lips met hers and his eyes slid shut. Hermione emitted a sound that fired his blood and sagged into the kiss. Her lips opened beneath his ardent ones giving him the access he craved more than he realized. He was kissing her, his best friend and it felt like the most glorious thing in the world._

 _Voldemort disappeared. The horcrux disappeared. Everything outside this tent disappeared. None of it mattered now but this moment that was happening. As he made a move to mesh their bodies together, Hermione wrenched her lips from him. Harry was so caught up in the moment, he made a move to follow her mouth in order to capture her lips again but her hands against his chest stopped him._

 _It was then that he realized what he had done. He had kissed Hermione, his best friend. The one person who had stood by him through his all. Panic bubbled inside him at the thought of ruining their friendship and fear of her leaving him as well clouded his judgment. What in Merlin's name had he done? The spell snapped around them and reality crashed to the floor as Harry backed away from her._

" _I'm sorry", he said huskily and her eyes flashed. "I'm sorry Hermione. I didn't-"_

" _It's ok Harry", she rasped trying to get her breathing under control. He tried his best to not stare at her heaving chest. Merlin he couldn't believe he just kissed her, "no harm done. It was just a kiss. Chalk it up to being caught up in the moment"._

" _Right just a kiss", he said barely getting the words out. He agreed with her but Harry knew he was lying to himself. It wasn't just a kiss to him. "It was a just a kiss"._

" _I'll take first watch", she added pulling out her wand. He couldn't read anything from her face. A wave a disappointment followed as she dismissed the moment so casually. "Why don't you get some sleep, I'll wake you"._

 _Just like that the tension after Ron's departure returned. Harry stood there silently as she grabbed her coat and slipped out of the tent and into the cold. How could he have forgotten about Ron? He was the real reason Hermione had been sad in the first place. No wonder the kiss didn't meant anything to her. Guilt made him queasy at the thought that he kissed her knowing she and Ron could potentially have something going on._

 _Burying the thoughts Harry slid into his bunk but didn't get much sleep. He forced his mind to focus on the horcrux and the war that was brewing. He didn't have any time to dwell on his feelings for Hermione. None of it mattered. Harry wasn't sure he was going to survive when all this was over. It gave him peace knowing that Hermione would have Ron, if he came back. Harry really hoped he did for her sake._

 _Outside the tent Hermione slumped against the entrance. Her trembling fingers touched her lips still tender from the kiss. She couldn't believe he kissed her and she kissed him back. There hadn't even been a moment when she didn't think of not doing it. All the while she had imagined what it would be like to kiss him, reality was so much better than fantasy._

 _It had almost been like a dream come true and then the regret and panic brewing in his eyes had brought her back to reality. He regretted it. He hadn't even meant to kiss her and so she covered up her hurt by saying it didn't mean anything. It was all a lie. That kiss meant more her than Harry would ever realize. All this time she had harbored a crush on him but finally gave up when she realized he would never want someone like her compare to Ginny or Cho._

 _Ron was a safer bet. She knew he fancied her. Harry's reaction to the kiss was enough to cement the fact that he didn't fancy her. A sharp pain slashed across her chest making it harder to breathe. She had known it all along but he hurt for him to actually reject her. Hermione swiped her tears away and took a deep breath. This was neither the time nor the place. They were in the middle of a war for Merlin sake._

 _In was that moment that Hermione truly buried her feelings for the dark hair greened eyes boy lying inside the tent and focused on the important thing. When Ron came back; if he did she was going to give him a fair chance and finally let Harry go._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Harry paused just outside the door. He smiled a greeting to the passing Healer and remained still at the spot. It was pretty late in the night and while St. Mungo's was busy this corridor was not. It could be because it housed most of the offices than the actual wards. Two days. That was how long he stayed away before his guilty consciences pricked at him. He made a promise to Ron, the least he could do was at least check on Hermione.

He would go in make sure she wasn't stressing too much over her job, ask her if she's eaten and then leave. It would take ten minutes top. He could be alone with her for that long couldn't he. Harry sighed and slipped his fingers beneath his glasses to rub his tired eyes. It sucked that this is what his relationship with Hermione had transformed into. Tense silence and avoidances and it was entirely his fault.

He took a deep breath and steeled his emotions before entering through her open door. His breath stilled in his lungs and his body pause mid step the moment he saw her standing with her body half turned towards the window. Her hair was pulled into a bun at the top of her head and her grey skirt and black shirt hugged her curves seductively.

It was her face that held his attention though. There wasn't a smile anywhere in place as she thumbed her engagement ring mindlessly. A frown marred her smooth forehead and she looked miserable. She looked on the outside how he felt on the inside; sad, torn and conflicted, much like the night in the Tent so many years ago. His heart ached at the thought of her not being happy.

It scolded himself for being selfish, for not being a better friend, for not being there for her when she needed someone. Hermione had given up so much for him during the war, sacrificed so much and here he was literally turning his back on her because he suddenly realized that he had feelings for her. It wasn't fair and it wasn't right. He was trying to not be a shitty person to one friend and ended doing the same to another. Hermione didn't deserve that.

Harry realized then that he was just going to have to suck it up and deal with it. It would only be a couple months. Once they got married, things would be cemented and he would have no choice but to accept it. Until then, he was just going to have to Harry, the best friend and not Harry, the bloke half way in love with his best mate's fiancée.

"Hey", he whispered quietly. The words were softly spoken but they were loud enough to startle her.

"Harry!" she exclaimed placing a hand over her racing heart. The light glinted off her ring, once again drawing the fact she was Ron's, "you're scare me half to death".

"Sorry", he apologized raising both palms in her direction as he stepped further into the room, "I didn't mean to startle you".

"It's ok", she finally said after catching her breath. His eyes followed her movement as she folded her arms across her chest, accentuating her breast. He swallowed hard and looked away, "What are you doing here. From out last conversation I didn't think I was going to see much of you".

"I thought so too", Harry murmured. There was no point in telling her about Ron, "but I wanted to apologize for what I said. My feelings, however inappropriate shouldn't be the reason that our friendship is ruin. We've been through too much and you're one of the most important people in my life Hermione and I don't want to lose that or you".

As the words spewed out of his mouth Harry realized he meant them. No matter what he felt he couldn't afford to lose what was left of their friendship. It may never be the same again and it may get harder down the road but without her in his life, even as a friend, he couldn't function.

"I already told you, you won't Harry", Hermione reassured him. She wasn't smiling and her eyes were guarded but he could feel the truth in her words. It made him breathe easier but it hurt in equal parts. Something was off with her tonight.

"Okay", he said catching her eyes. "Can we just forget that I had my outburst that night? If I could take it back I would. I shouldn't have said anything but I guess I panicked. We agreed that kiss meant nothing and it was foolish of me to assume that you could ever think of me as more than a friend".

Harry steeled himself for whatever she was about to say. Hermione was gazing at him with a look he couldn't place and a tinge of pain in her eyes. He was hurting her and he didn't even know how. He came in here earlier to make sure she was ok but now he desperately needed to know that they were going to be ok.

"Consider it forgotten", she whispered with a feeble smile. He breathed a sigh of relief but that didn't diminish the air of tension in the room. If anything it amplified, making his nerves bristle against each other the longer eyes held. "I won't hold it against you".

"So we're ok?" Harry asked cautiously. It didn't feel like they were, at all. She was holding herself protectively away from him as if she didn't want to come any closer. It hurt to think that she may not truly believe him. "You mean a lot to me Hermione and I would hate to think that I lost you over some randy hormones".

"We're fine Harry", Hermione reassure him as she walked around her desk to him. Her eyes had lost some of its guard and she stared warmly at him. Without thinking Harry wrapped his arms around her, feeling the familiar emotion of contentment as her arms slipped around his waist. He hadn't lost her for forever. "We'll always be friends I promise you".

"Thank you", he whispered into her hair as a wave of disappointment followed.

He was happy they were in a way rebuilding their friendship but deep down he knew it would never be enough. His feelings for her would always be more than platonic but none of it would matter because she would be the wife of someone else, their other best friend.

"Have you had any dinner?" he asked pulling away but he didn't release his hold on her. He was trying very hard not to drown in her scent but it was wrapping itself around him in a bubble of need. "I know how forgetful you can get when you are concentrating of work".

"Yea I did actually", she replied. Harry stilled as Hermione reached up and brushed his hair away from his eyes. It was such a simple, unconscious move that held them both on edge. She slowly pulled her hand away and stepped out of his arms. "I was actually about to leave when you came in".

"Really?" he asked as casually as possible. His forehead stilled burnt from her touch, "didn't look so to me".

"I just have a lot on my mind with the wedding and all", she said evasively reaching for her robe and her bag. The air crackled with emotions as Hermione slipped into her rob. The action twisted her body and Harry caught a glimpse of creamy cleavage that would play a role in his dreams tonight. The black lace that peaked above the collar made him clench his jaw. _Control Potter, control._ "Ready?"

"Yea", he said huskily and cleared his throat, "Yea I'm ready".

Harry silently stepped out of the room and waited for her to lock her door before stepping into stride with her. Neither said anything as if by unconscious agreement and the slightly uncomfortable atmosphere followed them down the deserted corridor and into the waiting lift. So much for fixing their friendship and not making things weird Harry muttered in his head. With this rate he would be lucky to make it out of the lift with all his emotions intact.

The moment the door closed Harry regretted coming to see her. Her scent overpowered all his senses in the small room and he could feel his body reacting to her mere presence. The tension between them crackled and Hermione held herself tense and away from him. She didn't move and inch and but he could feel the distance. Their shoulders were inches apart and he could feel the heat from her body seep into his, making him hotter.

A few seconds that was all he needed and then he wouldn't be out. He could deal with that. He wanted to say something, anything to break the tension but his mind was blank. All he couldn't think about was the glimpse of creamy skin he saw earlier. He clenched his jaw and took a step back from her temptation. If he was possible Hermione shoulders stiffened even more to the point where they may snap out of tension.

When had it gotten so bad between them? They just agreed that their friendship was the most important thing here. He just agreed to leave her alone; to think of her as just a friend, to not make things weirder or be a shitty friend. Was his resolve that weak when it came to her? And why the hell was the lift taking so long?

He should have known tonight wasn't going to be his night. To make things worse the lift suddenly jerked and stopped hastily. The motion propelled Hermione backwards and his hands shot out catching her shoulders and steadying her. Sparks; strong and electrifying shot through his arms and straight to his toes and Harry immediately released her before taking a deep breath.

"Are you ok?" he enquired struggling to keep his emotions under control.

"Yes", Hermione replied hugging her waist and taking a step back, "Yes I'm fine. You?"

"Never better", he said sarcastically moving away from her and pressing the buttons on the wall. He didn't mean to snap but being trapped here with her wasn't sure a good idea. "Any idea what's happening here?"

"I sort of forgot that they're testing out the lifts", Hermione said with a grimace. She closed her eyes mentally kicking herself and Harry could feel his tumult emotions bubbling to the surface. This could not be happening; he couldn't be trapped here with Hermione for Merlin knows how long. He wasn't sure he would make it out without kissing her.

"You're telling me", Harry muttered clenching his hands into fist at his side. He was trying really hard to not let his anger burst through, "that we may be trapped in here until the morning?"

Hermione could hear the barely leashed anger in his words and his eyes sparked dangerously. An answering heat of a very different kind ignited at the pit of her stomach and she managed a nod. How could she have forgotten the memo she'd gotten earlier this week. No wonder most of the others had gone home early. She sighed and rubbed her aching temple.

Harry didn't want to be trapped in here with her. He didn't want anything from her except her precious friendship. Honestly she didn't want to be trapped in here with him either for fear of doing something even more stupid like telling him how she really felt or kissing him senseless.

"That's just bloody brilliant Hermione", he exclaimed angrily turning away from her and began pacing the tiny space. It wouldn't do any good and it irked her that he was blaming this totally on her. Granted she forgot but she didn't do it intentionally.

"I forgot Harry", she snapped taking a step back from his angry pacing, "I forget things too sometimes. I'm not bloody perfect".

His angry green eyes snagged her brown ones and her breath stilled in her throat. He was barely holding onto his control and within that anger she saw flecks of desire bursting through. He blinked and it was gone.

"I never said you were perfect Hermione", he rebutted clenching his fingers, "but this was something you should have remembered. Merlin, I cannot be trapped in here with you until the morning".

"I know that Harry", she whispered fervently hurt lining her words. She knew he would rather be far away from her, "but we are so you're going to have to suck it up".

"Yea I'm sure that pep talk is going to help me relax", He said sardonically. What the hell was the matter with him?

"Merlin Harry", she said exasperatedly throwing her bag on the ground. He was really starting to piss her off. "I know this isn't an ideal situation but we've been stuck in shittier situations before and we made it through. Why is this time any different?"

"Why is this time different Hermione?" he asked whipping around to face her so suddenly Hermione moved back until she was pressed against the wall of the lift. He moved with her until he was mere inches away from her body. Hermione swallowed hard and licked her suddenly dried lips. His heated gaze traced the movement making her pulse race. Harry placed his palms on either side of her head, effectively trapping her between his hard body and the hard wall.

"What makes this time different Hermione", he husked. She could feel his angry hot breath against her lips, "is that for all my good intentions of trying to rebuild our friendships and bury my feelings all I want to do is snog you until neither of us can breathe. All I can think about right now is pressing my body against yours so you can feel what you do to me. Sod Ron and how it may hurt him. Sod my vow to not be a shitty friend. I would risk it all just for another taste of your quivering lips, to feel your body shuddering under mine as I take you against this wall. What makes it different is that I know you don't want that or feel anything for me, that this crazy attraction is one-sided Hermione. That is what makes this time different".

He was breathless as the words died on his lips. His green eyes were dark with desire and filled with pain at the same time. Hermione could barely breathe because she did feel what he was doing to her. As he expressed his words, Harry and unconsciously moved closer, so close that she could feel the hard length of him pressing into the softness of her belly. It thrilled her to the core. His blazing gaze held her captive and everything else disappeared around them. All she could see or feel was Harry. He wanted her and he hated himself for it. He thought she didn't want this or returned his feelings. What a load of crap. If he only knew her nights had been filled with nothing but him and she now felt trapped in her engagement to the very man they both loved.

"It isn't one sided Harry", Hermione whispered against his lips. His stomach tightened beneath her palms as his shocked filled eyes searched hers, "I feel it too".

* * *

 **All elevators needs servicing sometimes - magical or not :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Her words shocked him to the bones. Harry speechlessly stared at her hoping he heard her wrong but her eyes were clear with the truth. She was so close all he had to do was lean down and he would find paradise. Instead he staggered back, pushing away from her body until he leaned against the wall opposite her.

"What did you say?" he asked stupidly. He needed to hear her say it again and he didn't want to at the same time. This couldn't be happening. She said it meant nothing. Harry could barely keep his eyes off her.

"You heard me", Hermione murmured slumping against the wall behind her. She didn't offer anything else as silence surrounded them.

"You said it didn't mean anything", he whispered raggedly, "you said it was just a kiss and it meant nothing".

"I know I did", Hermione said warily rubbing her temple. "I panicked and after I saw your reaction I knew that you regretted it. We were in the middle of the war and I chalked it up to stress but I knew you regretted it so I made things easier, simpler by agreeing with you. Honestly it had always been you Harry. It started out as a crush then but it just got stronger.

Hermione just kept on surprising him. He was such an idiot. All this time he thought that if he had truly told her how he felt it would have ruin their friendship. He had reacted out panic that night because he didn't think he had a chance.

"What about Ron?" he asked raggedly not quite believing her. "You've been with him for three years Hermione. You said yes to him".

"Ron and I have always had this thing between us", Hermione began with furrowed brows. He wanted to reach across and smooth the ruffles, "things with him are easy. We fight but I know what to expect from him. He loves me more that he should and deep down I love him too, just not the way he loves me. I never thought I'd have a chance with you and as horrible as it sounds I settled for him. I know it's wrong but on most days I'm happy and like you said this would kill him. Not just the break up but knowing that I settled".

This was his entire fault Harry said to himself. If he had only told her how he felt before she and Ron had become too serious maybe they would have had their chance. Knowing now that Hermione harbored the same feelings for him as he for her just made the situation more complicated. When he thought it was one sided, he told her he couldn't ruin Ron's happiness. He thought that they were happy but knowing the truth now could he really step back? He had to; they had to because it doesn't change the fact that Hermione was right. This would kill him and it would destroy all three of their relationship. He couldn't allow that to happen.

"It doesn't change anything for you does it", Hermione asked softly sliding to the floor and folding her legs beneath her. "Knowing that I feel the same way doesn't affect your decision".

"It changes everything Hermione", he said honestly following her lead and sitting on the floor as well. He propped up his knees and rested his elbows on them, "but I don't want to hurt him. We both know he would never forgive either of us and I can't lose-"

"Your family", Hermione finished sadly for him, "I know how much the Weasleys mean to you Harry, how much Ron means to you so I understand".

The pain he heard in her voice lacerated him. She thought she wasn't as important as Ron but she was wrong. If anything Hermione was more important. Losing Ron would hurt but he would lose her as well in the process.

"You're important to me too Hermione", He said seriously reaching her with his eyes. She smiled forlornly and he knew she didn't believe him, "you are but they opened their home to me and accepted me into their family. As much as I want this, as much as I want you I can't betray him like that. He's my friend, he's yours too".

"I know", the hurt in her voice echoed the pain he felt. The lights in the lift flickered and dimmed tremendously and he could barely make out her silhouette across the tiny room. He didn't know what else to say to make this better. "Now, I guess we go back to pretending and burying".

"I'm sorry", he said helplessly. If this was three years ago his response would have been different and they both knew it.

"Me too Harry", she whispered stretching her feet out until they touched his. He didn't pull away, grateful for any contact with her, "me too".

Silence one again became their company. The tension wasn't as suffocating as before because now the reason for it was out in the open. As much as it hurt Harry knew they were doing the right thing. She said she loved Ron, it wasn't in the most passionate of ways but she did love him and for Ron it seemed to be enough. A part of him knew they weren't being fair to Ron nor to themselves but he couldn't risk losing one of the most important things in his life.

"Do you think we'll be strong enough to get through this without falling apart?" Hermione asked quietly. The very question had been forming in his mind.

"I don't know Hermione", he said truthfully, "I don't know but I hope so because then it would have been all for nothing. Giving you up now would be for nothing and I don't think I could survive that".

She said nothing in response just as he thought she wouldn't and they both remained silent. What else could they say? Nothing could fix this situation but a time turner or Hermione breaking up with Ron. Neither solution was probable at the moment. They made their choices; however filled by misunderstanding and fear and now they both had to live with it.

Hermione trained her eyes on his in the dark as she thumbed her engagement ring. She wondered if it would get easier watching him without feeling the pain in her chest. She knew she shocked him with the truth, she could clearly see it in her eyes but now he was more resolved to do the right thing. She scoffed inwardly. Hermione wasn't sure what the right thing was anymore.

Harry wanted her to keep her promise to Ron. She didn't want to hurt him either but was it fair? Deep down she knew it wasn't but what could she do. Hermione closed her eyes and wished she could return to that night and actually tell him that kiss had changed so much for her. Things probably would have been very different. Ron would still have gotten hurt but it wouldn't have been this deep and Harry's ring probably would have been in her finger.

Moments ago when he had her pressed against the wall Hermione thought he would have kissed her. She had seen the intent in his eyes and a part of her knew maybe they would have gone further than a kiss. Her body heated at the thought. But now, the man sitting before her was totally different. His eyes weren't blazing with passion and he had a guard around himself that even Hermione couldn't breech. She didn't have the strength anymore to try.

She didn't know how much time had pass but the silence ensured. Harry had some point fallen asleep but she stayed awake, cementing every sound, every furrow of brows to memory as he slept. She knew after they got out of here it wouldn't be the same. He would keep away emotionally and that was going to hurt even more.

A moan of distress escaped his parted lips and his brows furrowed in pain. He was having a nightmare Hermione realized and without thinking about what she was doing Hermione slid across the tiny space and supported her weight on folded knees between his parted legs. Her fingers reached out in the dark and smoothed the pain grooves across his forehead.

Harry mumbled in his sleep and turned into her touch. His fingers were clenched against his thighs as he fought whatever demon was taking control. Hermione's heart ached at the sight. She wanted so much to erase his pain.

"Harry", she whispered cupping his rough cheek. She leaned closer and repeated his name, "Harry wake up, you're having a nightmare".

His eyes snapped open and with seeker's reflex his fingers curled around her wrist to the hand that held his face. For a moment his eyes were dazed and confused before the cleared, staring intensely into her eyes. His breath was shallow and his fingers tightened around her slender wrist. Hermione swallowed nervously knowing he was going to kiss. Neither of them was strong enough at the moment to resist the pull between them.

When his lips captured hers, heat unfolded inside her and slowly spread throughout her limps. Her fingers were still pressed to his cheek and his around her slender wrist. Harry lips parted hers and she willingly allowed him. His lips trailed across her lower lips drawing a moan of pleasure from her before taking both between his. Her body was quivering with need.

Hermione pressed closer to him until she was practically straddling his hard body. Her fingers slid into his hair and his moved up her arms, over her shoulders and down to her waist. He gripped her hips pulling her flush onto his arousal and Hermione parted her thighs, fully straddling his lean waist as he pushed up into her body.

His tongue swept into her mouth and touched her hesitantly before repeating the motion with more confidence. This was wrong, kissing her fiancé best friend on the ground of a lift but Hermione couldn't stop herself. It felt so right. It was like she needed this moment more than her next breath.

The dark shrouding them only fuel the need to touch him and be touched by him. Her robe was in the way and so was his and Hermione pressed her body harder against his. The heat of his arousal seemed to burn through the barrier of clothing between them. It wasn't enough. She needed more and from the jerky movements of his hips so did he.

"Merlin Hermione you're killing me", he murmured raggedly against her lips. She tilted her head back holding him by his nape as he scattered kissed long the column of her next.

"What do you think you're doing to me Harry", she gasped as his lips nipped and sucked at her tender skin, "you're doing the same to me".

His grip on her hips tightened and he pulled her close before pushing her back creating some space between their heated bodies. His lips stilled in their administration and a groan of frustration bubbled deep in her throat. He was holding her perfectly still and when he pulled his lips way she did groan.

"We can't", his voice was dark and deep with passion. "Merlin Hermione we can't. As much as I would love to we can't".

Hermione slumped against his body, his arousal pulsing between the cleft of her thighs. She had never been this aroused in her life. She knew he was right but it hurt like hell. She could feel the tears pricking her lids and their forehead rested against each other. She refused to cry. It would just make things worse.

With great difficulty Hermione pulled away from him and curled her arms around her knees. Their ragged breathing filled the air and eventually evened out. She could feel his gaze on her and she returned it. He didn't apologize and she didn't either. They both knew it would a lie. No matter how wrong it was it happened and neither would take it back.

Being trapped in this lift turned out to be the worst and best thing that could have happened to them. Hermione knew they would have never confronted the tension between them even if they hadn't been for being trapped here. But it also cemented the fact that they could do nothing about it.

The next moment the lights in the lift flickered back to life and it jerked to life. She knew she must look a mess because Harry's robe as rumpled and his hair was messier than usual. Her fingers had done that. As their eyes connected a frisson of heat passed between the two. The doors of the life suddenly burst open and both hurriedly struggled to their feet. No one was present thankfully.

Hermione stepped out first and he followed closed behind. She could feel the heat emanating from his body and it was slowly melting her cold resolve. Neither said anything, nothing needed to be said. What happened in the lift couldn't happen again. Without a word Hermione turned to face him. His face was stoic but she could see the self loathe in his eyes. He did the one thing he vowed not to and it was killing him.

Hermione wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him, reassure him that everything was going to be ok. She couldn't because she wasn't sure that everything will be.

"Are you going to be ok?" she couldn't stop the words. She couldn't just leave him standing there.

"I have no idea", he replied hoarsely taking step physically and emotionally from her. She knew this would happen but that didn't stop the pain from seeping into her veins. He then asked her to do something they both she really didn't want to, "You should go".

She did. She did go but not before a tear trickled down her cheek and their eyes met. His stoic featured cracked at the sight but Harry made no move to touch her and Hermione disappeared with a _POP!_ that echoed loudly in the deserted streets.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Hermione licked the spoon cleaned before scoping up another spoonful of rocky road ice cream. It had been a long day and a long week of working overtime. She wasn't much of a drinker and the ice cream seemed to hit the spot nicely. She was almost half a pint in already.

Her life was falling apart and she didn't know how to fix it. Two weeks ago she was content. She wasn't happy but she was content enough to say yes to Ron's proposal and live that life at the time.

Now…now everything had changed and she didn't know how to handle it. She had no control over the situation anymore and it was slowly driving her mental. She swallowed the spoonful, wincing at the brain freeze and dug into the tub again.

Her eyes were deep and thoughtful as she stared ahead in the darkened flat she shared with Ron. Since he wasn't around so much, it was mostly her stuff scattered around. If you looked closely some of his knick knacks were around but not much. She never quite noticed that before. It was almost as if he never truly moved in.

She hadn't seen Harry in a week. A long, tiresome week filled with tossing and turning that did nothing good for her sleep schedule. Every time she closed her eyes the moment in the lift attacked her with a vengeance. She couldn't be in there anymore without remember the passion, the words, the kiss that transpired between them.

It hurt more than she was willing to admit but it made one thing absolutely clear. She couldn't marry Ron, not anymore. Not after experiencing what she did with Harry. The passion that had flared between them from just a kiss had never happened between Ron and her. It wasn't just that either. The more she thought about spending the rest of life with Ron, the more she panicked. She felt trapped and she couldn't live like that, not anymore. She couldn't let her fear of hurting him ruin both of their lives.

Harry was adamant about not pursuing anything because of Ron and she understood that but she couldn't stay with the red head. It wasn't fair to him and to her. No matter what the outcome meant for her and Harry she couldn't stay. Ron never needed to know that Harry was the reason. She would be honest with him. She would tell him her feelings had changed and that he deserved someone who truly loved him. They truly didn't fit on so many levels.

Ron would be angry and he would be hurt but in time he would realize that she was right. He didn't deserve to be with someone who didn't love him the way he loved her. It didn't matter if she would end up alone, she couldn't spend the rest of life with him. Not anymore. Her mind was made up and there was nothing that could change it.

Hermione stuck the spoon in the ice cream and glanced at the ring on her finger. She slowly twisted it off and it was like a burden being lifted off her shoulders. She held it between her fingers, twisting it around before sliding it across the counter. She didn't deserve to wear it anymore.

A wave of disappointment washed over her as she stared at the ring. The failure of the moment was not lost on her. This was the first thing that she wasn't going to see through and that bothered her a great deal. She could feel the sadness well up inside her for the loss of what was about to come. She knew Ron and he was going to lash out. Their relationship, friendship was never going to be the same again. With him or the Weasleys.

For the first time she really thought about what Harry meant when he said he couldn't lose the only family he really had. On some levels the Weasleys were like her adopted family as well. They treated her like family and it was going to hurt to lose that. Everything was going to change the minute she gave Ron his ring back.

Hermione felt the tears welled up in her eyes and in the privacy of her home she let them fall. For the first time in a long time she felt truly alone. There wasn't anyone she couldn't really talk to about this. The only person who would understand was Harry and he would try to talk her out of it. Her willpower wasn't so strong where he was concerned and she was afraid she would succumb and go through with it.

Hermione wiped away her tears. They would solve nothing and only sought to make her feel worst. She was a horrible person but deep down she thought she couldn't settle for second best and actually be happy. She should have known that was never going to happen. Hermione guiltily admitted that she never really gave Ron a real chance and that was going to hurt him the most.

She wasn't a fool. Hermione held no hope for her and Harry. She had no idea what was going to happy between the two of them. Her feelings for him weren't the sole factor in her decision. This was about her and Ron and unfairness of it all. He was coming home in a few days and her stomach fluttered nervously at the thought of seeing him again. It would probably be the last time in a while that she would under amicable circumstances.

Leaving the ring on the counter and picking up the ice cream Hermione placed it in the freezer before making her way to her room. She wasn't going to talk herself out it. She couldn't. It was the right thing to for all the parties involved. It was a risk and like with every risk there were consequences. Some were harsher that other but in the end she was going to have to deal with the choices she made. Hermione hoped the price wouldn't be too high because Ron was important to her. They shared a lot of good memories over the past few years and she would hate if she lost him forever.

With the conflicting thoughts churning inside her head Hermione slipped under the covers and cast a warming charm around the room. They were in the smack middle of winter but she knew that had nothing to do with the cold seeping into her bones. Things were about to change and not in a good way and that scared the hell out of her. All her life she had been the odd one out. She had finally found a niche between her boys and now she was at the risk of losing that place along with both of them. That was the price she had to pay for falling for her boyfriend's best mate who also happens to be her best friend. It was long before sleep finally claimed her and it was an uneasy one.

* * *

Harry's fist collided heavily with the bag once again and sent crashing into the wall. He was breathing raggedly as he worked out the angst emotions plaguing him for the past week. Every night since the night in the lift Harry came home and transformed his bedroom into a one man gym. He could have easily done this at work but he felt more comfortable at home. With every memory his punched harder.

The feel of her lips against his _smack!_

The feel of her hand in his hair _smack!_

The feel of her body pressing into his _smack!_

The tiny sounds she made as he kissed her _smack!_

The dark desire blazing from her eyes _smack!_

The tear that slipped down her cheek _smack!_

The last thought added a spin kick to the punch that left him holding onto the bag until he could catch his breath. He made her cry. As a result of his actions he made her cry and he would never be able to forgive himself for that. He could feel the sweat running down his spine and his white t shirt stuck to his chest. After an hour of doing this Harry thought his energy would be spent but every time he closed his eyes she was there and he started all over again. This time his punches were fueled by self loathe of being a shitty friend. Ron was going to kill him if he ever found.

Harry angrily took a stab at the bag as the unbidden thought if his mate actually finding out surfaced. Maybe then he would get the punishment he deserved for falling for Hermione. Maybe Ron would take a swing at him and give him the beating he deserved. Maybe he wouldn't be angry and say that he was ok with them as couple. The last thought made him laugh sardonically.

 _Like that is going to happen Potter. This is Ron we're talking about. The very man who had always been jealous of your fame and wealth. The same man who harbored secrets thoughts that Hermione preferred you over him._

The night they destroyed the locket came fresh to his mind and Harry knew that no matter what happened Ron was never going to be ok with them. However slim the chances were of that ever happening. That night in the forest Harry reassured his mate that Hermione was nothing more than a sister to him. At the time he truly believed he could bury his feelings for her. For a long time he did only to have it kick him in the ass years later.

He never should have gone to see her that night. He never should have given into Ron's stupid request and watch Hermione. He wasn't doing it now and he was sure she was more than fine. Now he had all these fresh moments to torture him and he was slowly losing his mind over her.

Harry had no idea how he was going to survive the months leading up to wedding. It was killing him now just thinking about her. Being next her close enough to touch and know she felt the same way was more tortuous than being _crucio_. Somehow he was going to have to do it. He bloody well survived Voldemort he could bloody well survive watching Hermione marry Ron. It was going to hurt more but he could do it. He was Harry Bloody Potter after all wasn't he?

With one last punch the bag disappeared and Harry slumped to the ground. He was boned tired, just what he wanted. Maybe tonight she wouldn't visit him in his dreams like she had for the past week. Maybe tonight he would have a reprieve from her form of torture and not wake up screaming her name while his body yearned for hers. He could only hope for that but like a two edged knife he longed to see her in his dreams.

His dreams were the only place where he didn't feel guilty about touching her and kissing her. It was the only place where there was no Ron. It was just them, Harry and Hermione as it always has been. Nothing could touch them in his dreams and it was those moments he that brought his a bit of joy and soul crushing sadness when morning came pressing at his door.

Harry scrubbed his hand over his tired face. He needed to get a grip. If he wasn't careful his emotions would control his actions and that wouldn't bode well for anyone. His skin was rapidly cooling the longer he sat there and Harry forced himself to get up. He needed a shower and some sleep, however little he would get without Hermione finding her way into his head.

An half an hour later Harry walked out of the steaming bathroom with a pair of sweats and crawled beneath his cool sheets. He placed his glasses on the bedside table and flickered off the light. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness and when he did Harry found himself staring at the ceiling.

He was tried, more than tired but his mind refused to shut off. How did things get messed up so fast? A little more than two weeks ago he was happy with his life. Now it was falling apart and as much as he tried, he couldn't stop it from happening. Ron's announcement had been the catalyst and ever since that moment it had been a chain reaction of event.

If he wasn't careful he was going to lose everything that was important, if he hadn't already that is. That was what sacred him the most. The price to pay for his stupidly was too high and Harry was positive he couldn't afford to pay it but that didn't stop him from wanting it, from wanting her. Merlin did he want her. Hermione had gotten under his skin and he had no idea how to get rid of her. Harry wasn't sure he truly wanted to. The price was high but a part of him was willing to pay it just so that he could be with her but the other part, the loyal part scolded himself for even thinking of being that selfish.

* * *

 _I have no idea what most of you think about this fic so far :) but nevertheless thank you all for the reviews, alerts and favorites._


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Hermione could feel the anger and confusion coming off his tense body in waves. She had never seen him so angry before and his blue eyes burned with pain. She hugged her waist protectively and watched him as he stared hopelessly at the ring she returned to him. Ron had arrived no more than two hour ago. Hermione had given time to unwind but he noticed something was up with her and asked.

It was then that she told him she couldn't marry him. That it had been a mistake from the get go. She told him she would always love him but she couldn't see herself spending the rest of their lives together.

"I - I don't understand Hermione", Ron stammered piercing her with pain filled eyes. "We were fine before I left. Everything was great so I don't understand how things can change so quickly".

"I had a lot of time to think while you were gone Ron", she said softly hating that he was hurting him, "deep down you had to know things weren't going to work. We hardly see each other-"

"You're breaking up with me because of my job", he asked his eyes flashing angrily.

"No of course not", Hermione denied vehemently. "What I meant was because you're gone so often we go days without any meaningful conversations and when you are here all you want to do is snog or shag or argue Ron". He turned redder at her words, this time from embarrassment. "You don't even have that much stuff here and most of the time I feel as if I'm living alone".

"Hermione I love you", he said seriously moving towards her but she backed way. Hurt flashed across his feature, "We've worked for three years. I'll change my schedule. I do whatever it takes to fix this".

"I can't Ron", she said sadly, "I know you love me and that's what makes this harder. I do love you but not in the way I'm suppose to. Over the course of the years my feelings changed and it's not fair to hold you in a relationship with someone who doesn't love you in entirety. You deserve better than that Ron.

"You don't love me anymore?" he asked in surprise.

"I do love you", she reassured him, "Just not in the way you love me". She knew she was being harsh but it was the only to get through to him. Ron would keep trying, he would know how to let go so the honest truth was the only way to go. At least part of it.

"How can you just stop loving me Hermione", he shouted, "and if you felt this way why did you even say yes".

"I didn't want to hurt you Ron", she murmured knowing the words were inadequate.

"Like you are now?" he scoffed throwing the ring on the floor. He was red in the face and was breathing hard. "Is there someone else?"

His voice was cold as ice and Hermione's heart fluttered at the question. It was on the tip of her tongue to say no but before she could Ron's eyes narrowed and he just stared at her.

"That's just bloody brilliant Hermione", he exclaimed angrily. She could see the tension in body and the unasked question in his eyes. She wasn't going to answer it. "If your feelings had changed for me then you shouldn't have said yes. If you didn't feel that way about me at all they you should have never agreed to be mine in the first place. Before I probably could have walked away with a cracked heart but now, now it's broken Hermione and it's all because of you. I hope you're happy with whoever he is because I'm done. I don't even want to know because none it matters anymore".

"I'm sorry Ron", she apologized tearfully. His eyes were jaded glints of blue, "I never wanted to hurt you".

"It doesn't matter Hermione", he whispered brokenly, "because you still ended up hurting me. I just wished you had the courage to tell me sooner than stringing me along. I deserved better than that. Then again, I'll always be second best to you and we both know it".

He leaned down and picked up the ring before moving past her and sliding it onto the table. Hermione didn't as much move a muscle as she stood frozen in spot. He walked back around and headed for the door. This was how it all of it ended. After more than a decade of friendship and three years to together, this was how it all shattered on the floor.

"I don't want it back", he said morosely indicating to the ring, "Do what you want with it. I'll be back tomorrow for my stuff".

Without another word he walked out slamming the door loudly behind him. Hermione flinched at the anger he was able to translate into the action but she knew she deserved everything he threw at her. She hurt him very much and she felt guilty about it because Ron was right. She should have pulled the plug sooner on their relationship. Maybe then things wouldn't have gotten so complicated.

The flat felt strangely empty as she looked around. Nothing had changed except the fact that Ron wouldn't be walking through his as her significant other anymore. Her heart ached because she hurt him but she felt a form of relief knowing that she didn't have to pretend to be happy anymore. For long time that was what she had been doing and she did it so well that Hermione even fooled herself into thinking that they might work. Now everything had change in a single moment and she had no idea where she was going from here both with herself and Harry or Ron.

* * *

The impatient knocking on his door made Harry moved faster towards it because whoever it was in a real hurry to get a hold on him. As he swung open the door the very rattled sight of his best mate greeted him. He stood shocked for a second not even knowing he was back. He didn't look happy. In reality Ron looked angry as hell and his eyes were filled with pain. Harry instantly tensed, his gut telling him something was very wrong.

"Is it you?" he asked with such control it literally gave him chills. Harry's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Ron I have no idea what you are talking about", Harry replied although the funny feeling in his stomach increased.

"Hermione broke off our engagement", he added and the words shocked him to the bones. Harry felt as if he stomach hollowed out. "It didn't take a genius to figure it was because she was in love with something else. So I'm asking you once again, is it you".

"Ron", Harry began evasively thinking of lying. The hard look in Ron's eyes made him think twice and upped to the truth. "I swear to you mate I didn't intend to fall for her. I thought I was over it".

"How long?" Ron asked through clenched teeth. "How long have you been in love with my girlfriend?"

"It doesn't matter Ron", Harry said and his stomach clenched at the thought of hurting him. But Ron wouldn't leave without the truth.

"So much for her being your sister", Ron mocked sarcastically and Harry grimaced. He had to fix this and fast.

"Mate I promise you that I'm not going to do anything about it", Harry assured him but he was not listening, "Our friendship means too much for me to risk it. I'll bury it. I'll do whatever it takes Ron".

"You're in love with her Harry!" Ron exclaimed angrily, "that is not something you can bury. It's out there now and I will never be able to look at you or her for that matter the same again. How could you betray me like that?"

"Ron I didn't", Harry could feel the panic rising, "it was just a kiss and it meant nothing I swear!" It was the wrong thing to say even if it was a lie and if it was possible Ron got even redder. He looked like his face was going to explode. His expression was thunderous and Harry had no idea what to say next. He had a feeling that no matter what he said it wasn't going to be enough.

"You kissed her?" he asked quietly, "have you been shagging her behind my back?"

"No!" Harry said immediately but from the look on Ron's face he didn't believe him, "Ron I swear to you we didn't. We wouldn't do that to you".

"I'm not sure I can believe you now can I?" he said, "Merlin I trusted you! I trusted both of you and all this time I've been blind. You knew how I felt about her, how insecure I was. You saw the bloody horcrux and still you fell for her!"

"I'm not going to act on it Ron", Harry said helplessly as he tried to appease him but to no avail. He felt like he was repeating himself and he was. He didn't know what else to say. Their friendship was crashing to the ground and all he could was stand by and watch it happen. "I'm not mate".

"I'm not your mate, not anymore", Ron said angrily and Harry's breath stilled. "I'm not your mate, I'm not your buddy, and I'm not your family".

"Ron don't", Harry said weakly his worst nightmare coming true.

"No!" he refuted breathing harshly, "You went where you weren't supposed to and that is something I can never forgive, either of you. From this moment we're done. I'm done with both of you. For all I care you can both fly off into the sunset. You deserved each other because both of you are two timing, backstabbing betrayers. I trusted you Harry and you took advantage of that trust".

Harry could feel the blood seeping out of his face. As much as he would have loved to say something, anything he couldn't find the words. He knew this was going to happen the moment Ron figured out something was up between the two of them but he wasn't prepared for it. Ron glared at him once again before disappearing from his doorway.

Things were officially screwed up and he lost not just his best friend but the family that came with it. A sharp pain slashed across his chest and he could feel his anger rising. Why the hell did she break up with him? Harry thought they agreed they wouldn't hurt him. Even as he said the words Harry couldn't really blame her. He should have seen her decision coming.

Couldn't Ron give him the benefit of the doubt? He said he wouldn't act on it, wasn't that good enough. Granted he kissed her, but it had been a moment of weakness, one he didn't intend to repeat. Wasn't his word good enough? Ron was insecure, he always had been where Harry was concerned and that should have been clue enough that he wouldn't believe him.

He ran his fingers frustratingly through his hair. It couldn't get worst that this. What else did he have to loose. Ron was going to be angry for a very long time and he was hurting like hell. The only person Harry could turn to was Hermione and he wasn't sure he could. Ron would certainly not take kindly to that idea, at least not yet but Harry knew she would be hurting too.

In a single moment, a few words had drastically changed their lives. As much as he would like to go to her, make sure she was ok Harry wasn't sure he could. He had to stay away now more than ever if he wanted to salvage any relationship with Ron or Hermione for the matter of fact. He just wasn't sure he was strong enough to.

Oh Hermione, he thought taking his share of blame, what have we done?


End file.
